Prologue: I was raised Catholic - so Catholic, I had 10 brothers and sisters (no twins, all from the same parents and yes we had TV), so Catholic - I went to Catholic school for 8 years, so Catholic that there was a time I went to church every day and liked it, so Catholic that my friends thought my Dad was a priest, so Catholic that my Mom lived in a convent and almost became a nun before she met my Dad .... you get the point.
At the start of a taekwondo class (and at the end) the highest-ranking belt tells us to face the flags and bow, face the instructor and bow, then the next high-ranking belt tells everyone to face the high-ranking belt and bow.
Today, I was the second highest ranking belt in class although I went through the motions and told everyone to bow to the highest rank belt. I did not. Although I caught myself doing a kind of head nod, I did not bow. (No one notice I didn't bow - because they were all bowing :) Why you ask - or I ask since I think I'm the only one that reads these - the man who was the highest-ranking belt broke two ribs of my friend because his ego got in the way when she was beating him in sparring.
As I walked home from class I thought - he did not deserve my respect. Bowing is respect. But I have no respect for this man- if you want to call him a man, more of a boy, no control. Granted I never liked him. Call it intuition or not, either way he did live up to what I expected from him. He can try and beat me up because he has a higher rank but really - I believe I can whoop his ass and look forward to sparring (sparring is my least favorite of my training). Alas, the instructors won't let him spar with the women anymore perhaps because men can't break ribs?
The thought of not bowing made me think of my teen years when I was forced to go to church by my parents and before I used to sneak out of mass. I refused to genuflect. I refused to genuflect to the alter, I refused to bow my head at the name of Jesus. I look back on it now and realize, I was not mad at Jesus, he had good teaching and all-around nice guy, however I was mad at the church - I had lost or should I say threw away my respect for the church. Still have no respect for it.
Anyway, as a child you do things impulsively and then many years go by and you realize - you know, that explains alot.
